Stray
by scorchalives
Summary: It's only been a few months since the events that changed Ponyboy's life forever, and now his growing relationsip with Cherry Valence will force him to make yet another life changing decision.
1. Face On

Face On:

PONYBOY: I could taste blood in my mouth, pouring out over my lips. There was a sharp crack that echoed in my ears and told me bone had been splintered. My muscles trembled and shook, adrenaline leaking out into my blood-stream. I felt a tight fist pummel itself into my already bloody mouth, my teeth raking against course knuckles.

"He he, look here boys!" a voice said, slurred with the ever present pounding in my ears. "He ain't so tough now, is he?" I felt the edges of my shirt being pulled taught and raising me up to a square face and narrowed eyes that questioned my very existence. "Who's trash now, greaser?"

I glared up at my attacker, my heart pounding hard in my chest. I brought my right hand behind my back and felt in my pocket, my fingers closing tightly around the cold steel of my switchblade. I glanced up at the other socs standing in a circle around us, their faces plastered with smirks and hard gazes. Fuck all of them. I looked back at the soc holding onto the collar of my t-shirt and sneered at him.

"You and all them goons over there," I said, hacking up a ball of spit and shooting it out at the soc's face. It hit him square in the eye, and he wiped it away angrily before sending his fist into my face once more. I took the hit, but when my head snapped back up to face him, I brought my drawn knife with it. The soc let go of my shirt and stood, taking out his own knife. I picked myself up from the ground and wiped the blood away from my lip and the sweat from my eyes, gritting my sore teeth and holding my knife out at the soc before charging into him. He grabbed at my shoulder with one hand and tried to stab me with the other, while I went for his attack hand. My blade cut across his knuckles, and the soc dropped his knife in surprise, leaving me the opportunity to snatch it up to use against him. The other socs around us stood back in unease, glancing back and forth amongst each other, unsure of what to expect next. I glared at all of them through my swollen eyes, not letting my guard down for a minute.

"You greasers are all the same," the soc yelled at me, cradling his bleeding hand in his other. "Nothin' but pieces of shit! You're all pieces of shit!" He then nodded at his friends and before I knew it, they were at me from all sides. I kicked my legs out and swung my arms, struggling to get free of the strong hands and arms that pinned me down again on the ground. I felt a sharp pain in my chin as another surged through my stomach, the wind knocking out of me. I struggled for breath, but as soon as I caught any air in my lungs, it was punched out of me again. I could feel myself begin to lose conscience when there was a piercing squeal of tires hitting asphalt and the hurried clicking of heels.

"What the hell are you doing?" a girl screamed, and from the slits of my eyes, I saw her plunge herself between the soc and myself. "You're killing' him! What the hell is wrong with you people?"

The soc laughed nervously at the girl, and I could feel the hands on my legs and arms begin to loosen a bit. "Come on, baby," he said, standing up over me. "It's just a greaser. If he dies no one'll miss him. Cept maybe his grease can." I could hear snickers amongst the other socs, but the girl only held her ground.

"If you kill him then that makes you all murderers," she snapped, her eyes blazing at all of them. "Do you want that kind of thing on your hands, Richard Hardy?" At their silence she only pressed harder. "Well? Or would you all like me personally got to all your homes and tell your families about what you've been doing?"

The boys snarled at her, but she and I both knew they wouldn't do anything to her. Richard only let out another nervous chuckle. "Come on, Cherry, you wouldn't rat us out like that—"

"Oh, yes, I would. And don't you doubt it for a minute! Now get out of here before I change my mind!" Cherry crossed her arms and glared hard at them all. "I said get out of here!" And with only a slew of curses and dirty looks, they were gone.

Cherry…I hadn't spoken to her in ages, mostly because she wouldn't let me. Anytime I saw her at school or in stores where her soc friends would see us together, she only pretended I wasn't there. Now I was wondering why all of the sudden she had taken it upon herself to be my guardian angel. I tried to stand up, but a sharp pain in my side sent me back downwards.

"Ponyboy, are you alright?" Cherry exclaimed, quickly by my side. "Here, let me help you into the car. I'll take you home." She looped her arm around me and propped me up on wobbly legs, letting me lean on her as I limped over to the car. I couldn't help letting my face fall into her long red hair, and I breathed in the sweet smell of lavender on her fiery locks. She opened the passenger side door and helped me into the seat, securing me inside. She started the car and pulled away from the side of the road, glancing at me every now and then. I leaned my head back against the plush leather seat, closing my eyes and trying not to think about the painful throbbing in my head.

"Are you gonna be alright, Ponyboy?" Cherry asked, her eyebrows pulling together in a concerned frown. "You don't need to go the hospital or anything, do you? You look pretty beat up."

I shook my head, even though I was pretty sure one of my ribs was broken. "Nah, I'll be alright. Just take me home and Darry 'll take care of the rest." I peeked over at her from the corner of my eye and furrowed my brow. "Why'd you stop those guys, anyway?"

She frowned at me again, but this time it was because she was mad. "Ponyboy, how can you say that? We're friends. And besides, I wasn't just gonna drive on by while they beat you to death." She glanced back in forth between me and the road, her expression softening a bit when she saw I wasn't buying it.

"If we're friends then how come you never wanna talk to me?" I said, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a cigarette. I lit it and took a long drag before sending my gaze back towards her. "How come you always act like I'm not there? Last time I checked, friends didn't completely ignore each other."

Cherry tightened her grip on the steering wheel, her gaze still on the road. "Pony, you know why. It's just the way things are. It's the way they have to be."

"Yeah, but why? Who cares what people think?"

"Who cares what people think? Ponyboy, it's people like those guys who almost killed you who'll come after you if people like you and me mix. They beat you up for no reason, what do you think they'd do to you if they saw you and me together?" She glanced over at me, but looked away again when she met my eyes. "I don't like it any more than you do…but there's nothing we can do about it. It's just the way things are."

I sighed and gazed back out the window. "If you're so afraid of that happening then maybe you should let me out of the car." I looked back at her and me her gaze. "I don't wanna cause any more trouble for you."

"Ponyboy, stop that," she scolded, but I could see the guilt in her eyes. She only sighed and shook her head, looking back at the road. "Besides, I can't let you walk home in the condition you're in. You can hardly walk."

"What do you care?" I snapped, curling up my fists and glaring at the floor of the car. "After you drop me off you won't ever speak to me again. Why should you care if I can make it home on my own or not?"

It wasn't two seconds after the words came out of my mouth that Cherry slammed on the brakes and I was sent flying forward in my seat. I hit my head on the dashboard, only adding to my list of discomforts. Cherry turned in her seat and stared hard at me, her brown eyes narrowed and filled with hurt. "Ponyboy, I WISH we could be better friends than we are, but even people like me can't always get what they want. The only reason why I ignore you is to protect you. To protect you and your family and your friends. Don't you understand? The more you try to talk to me, the more I have to push you away. It hurts me to hurt you, Ponyboy. And I don't want to do it anymore, so please…please, just let it go. For me."

I was silent for a moment, taking in everything that she'd said. It made sense; it couldn't be easy for her to ignore someone she liked. I only nodded and took a drag from my cigarette. "Okay. But, Cherry…"

"Yes?" she cocked her head to the side, a strand of titan hair falling into her eyes.

I sighed and grimaced slightly. "Just promise me that you won't forget about me. Not entirely, anyway. Okay?"

Cherry smiled slightly, buy her eyes were sad, and she looked on the verge of tears. "No…no, Ponyboy, I won't forget you. How could I? With a name like yours, I mean."

I let out a half-hearted chuckled. "Yeah…yeah, I guess not." I glanced back at her as she put the car back in drive, taking us down the road leading to the north side of the city. We drove in silence the rest of the way for the majority of the time, my small guide of directions breaking it every now and then. When we reached the chain-linked fence of my house, Cherry got out and went around to my side and helped me out, walking me to the door. Before she could knock on the door, I stepped in front of her and blocked the way. She gave me a slight frown, but said nothing. "Umm...thanks for helping me out back there. And for the ride. I really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it," she said, backing away slightly, but something told me she didn't want to leave just yet. "Umm...I'd better head on home. Uh, I'll…" She trailed off before blushing and ducking away to her car. She stared the engine and was gone before I could open the front door. Of all people, she had been the least I had expected to help me. And now I couldn't get her off my mind.

CHERRY: "Cherry!" my mother called from downstairs. "Did you just get in?"

"Yes, mother!" I called back, setting my things down on the floor of my room. I flopped down on my bed and buried my face in the pillows.

"Well, supper'll be ready in about an hour!"

"Okay!" I yelled, even though I'd lost any appetite I'd had. I raised my head from the pillows and looked up at the mirror attached to my dresser. My eyes were puffy and red from crying, my mascara smeared across my cheeks. Seeing Ponyboy like he was, it had only made me think of Bob and how he'd attacked Pony and his friend Johnny. Just because he was drunk and angry with them for walking home with me and Martha he'd picked a fight with them…and it had cost him his life. I hadn't loved Bob, but it didn't mean he had to die. I knew Johnny had only killed Bob to save Ponyboy, but still…he had taken away a life. And that had almost happened again, only it would have been Pony, and if that had happened I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. Pony had lost so much in his life: his parents, his best friends, Johnny and Dally. All of them had been taken away from him too soon, and I didn't want to cause him anymore pain. That was all us being together would cause; pain and loss. When all anyone cared about was what side of the tracks you came from, there could be no right or wrong side. I wanted to get to know Ponyboy more, but that would mean I'd have to lose him in the process. And I'd rather know he was alive outside of my life than dead from being in it.


	2. Friends

Friends:

PONYBOY: Darry let me have it when I came home that night. He was pretty pissed off about having to take me to the hospital, saying we didn't need to spend any more money on me breaking my body like a tooth-pick. He told me he thought I was done picking fights, and when I tried to tell him that the other guys had been the ones to start it, he only got madder. Turned out that that son-of-a-bitch broke two of my ribs, but it felt like he'd snapped all of them off. I'd have to keep my sides bandaged up for two weeks, and if another soc decided to start something with me, I'd be shit out of luck. Darry said he'd never seen a fourteen-year-old kid get the crap kicked out of him as much as I did. Said he should have taught me how to fight better. I guess he's right; I'd figured I'd just get better over time, getting practice. Obviously it wasn't working too well.

I was trying to finish the algebra homework Mr. Barry had given us over the weekend when Two-Bit came in my room with Steve, who proceeded to howl and slug me in the arm.

"Hey, Ponyboy," Two-Bit said, sitting on top of my desk, "You've got a visitor."

I threw my pencil down and sighed. "You mean Steve? I know."

Two-Bit shook his head, taking a sip from his beer. "No. It's Cherry. Don't know what she's doin' round here but she told me to let you know she wants to talk to ya." He grinned teasingly at me. "Just make sure you don't knock her up, kid."

"Shut up, man," I grumbled, shoving him off the edge of the desk and standing up to go outside. I grabbed my jacket and glanced at myself in the bathroom mirror. I still had a black eye and a few cuts around my mouth, but most of my bruises had healed up a bit since last week. I still looked like shit, though. Sighing, I pulled my arms slowly through the sleeves of my jacket, careful not to brush my sides too much, and walked out the front door. Cherry's car was parked on the curb beside my house, and she was standing up against the hood, her hair blowing around her face. She pushed it away from her eyes and smiled slightly at me, but I didn't smile back. I walked up to her silently, my eyes focused on the ground. What did she want? Maybe she was coming to warn us about another fight or something. But Two-Bit had said that she'd only wanted to talk to me. What would she ever have to talk to me about? Once I reached her, I raised my gaze and gave her a half-hearted smile.

"Hey," I said, shuffling my feet and poking the dirt with the point of my shoe. "What'd you want to talk to me about?"

Cherry crossed her arms and cleared her throat, the wind blowing her hair back in front of her face. "I wanted to talk to you about us." She looked at me through the red strands in her eyes, and I felt a shiver flow down my spine. "I want to be your friend, Ponyboy, but…but I don't want anyone to get hurt because of us." She pursed her lips and stepped closer to me, her fingers coming around to tame her flowing hair. "What I'm saying is…we have to be careful. We can't let anyone find out about us. Not anyone who'd do anything about it, that is."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I blinked and stammered, "Uh…okay. Umm…w-where you want to meet?"

She smiled at me and laughed. "Well, we can meet here, if that's okay? At least for now. We'll take my car today, but afterwards we have to go on foot. The guys from my side of town'd recognize it too well." When I didn't say anything, she looked away for a moment and brought her gaze back to me, and I was startled to see tears welling up in her eyes. "Ponyboy…you don't hate me, do you?"

I frowned, my head shaking violently. "No. No, Cherry, I could never hate you. You bug the hell out of me sometimes, but I don't hate you." I closed the distance between us and, without thinking, gathered her up in my arms. Cherry stood still for a moment before accepting my embrace and wrapping her arms around my shoulders, sobbing into my chest.

"I don't know why it bothers me so much," she said, her voice muffled by my shirt. "I can't change the way things are…but sometimes I wish I could. Maybe if I could, Bob might not have had to die. You and Johnny wouldn't have had to run away and…" She trailed off as she broke down into more sobs, and I only held her tighter. I stroked her hair and closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of her and wishing I didn't ever have to let go of her.

"Come on," I murmured, peeling her away from me gently and taking her by the hand. "Let's get out of here." I smiled encouragingly at her before sliding into the passenger side of the car. She nodded and wiped the tears away from her face, starting the car and pulling the roof up over the top.

"I hate having to sneak around," she said, putting the car in gear and pulling out into the road. "But it's the only choice we've got."

I glanced outside the window back at my house. "No. It's the only safe choice we have. We could still just not give a damn and take our chances." I looked back at her and grinned, but I could see the guilt in her eyes. What was worth getting yourself killed over? I sighed and looked back at out the window, just happy to be able to be with her for once.

CHERRY: I don't know what it was exactly that made me seek Ponyboy out, but I was glad I'd decided to see him. It wasn't fair to either of us to ignore each other, and my gut told me Ponyboy was a good friend to have around. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye as I drove down the road, wondering what he was thinking about. Probably how crazy this was and why I'd decided to befriend him all of the sudden. I was still wondering that myself. It'd taken me a week after that day I'd saved him to realize I didn't want to lose him. I knew the consequences if we were ever caught, but I honestly didn't care anymore. The thing about Bob and Johnny and Dally's deaths was that they had made me realize that life doesn't give you forever. They had all been young, way too young to die the way they that they did. I wasn't going to let fear keep me from living my life.

Ponyboy pulled out a cigarette and motioned to me if I wanted one. "No thanks," I said, waving him off. "You go ahead, but I don't care for them too much. Makes me smell."

Ponyboy let out a little chuckle, the cigarette dangling from his mouth. "Wouldn't want to make you smelly, now would we?" He rolled down the window and blew a plume of smoke out the window, flicking off the ash at the end of the cigarette. "So where are we going anyway?"

I honestly didn't know. I may have planned out how I was going to come to his house and plead my case, but I hadn't really thought about what we'd do afterwards. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel and shook my head. "No idea. I guess I'm just driving around in circles." I turned on the radio and a Beatles song started to play. I turned down the volume as I glanced over at him. "I'm pretty hungry. You want to go over to the Dairy Queen? I can get us some sandwiches."

"Don't most of the socs hang out over there?" he asked, a frown forming over his face.

I sighed. "Yeah, but so do a lot of greasers, if I'm not mistaken." I gave him a sideways glance before shaking my head. "Okay, you win. Um…we could always go to the movie theater. I heard they have a good James Dean film playing. Wanna go see it?"

Ponyboy finished his cigarette and flicked it out the window, nodding. "Sure, that sounds fine. But I think I know a better place. Turn around over here and I'll tell ya how to get there."

I gave him a questioning look but said nothing as I pulled my car into a nearby parking lot and turned around in the opposite direction. I wasn't too sure about going somewhere I had no idea where we were, but since I didn't seem to have any better ideas, I was up for anything. We drove on for about ten more minutes before Ponyboy leaned over me and pointed out my window to the left.

"There," he said, leaning back into his own seat. "That lot over there."

I turned into the gravel and grass of the abandoned lot, wondering what he was up to. I had hoped he hadn't noticed the redness in my face when he had leaned over me. "Um, I guess we're here." I glanced over at him, but he had already hopped out of the car and was opening my side door.

"Come on," he said, taking my hand and guiding me out. "I wanna show you something." I was unsure but I followed his lead, glancing around us every now and then. The lot was everything I'd expect a lot to be: vacant and strewn with discarded items of all kinds. Ponyboy led me around to a tall oak tree, one of the biggest I'd seen, and brought me down onto what looked like the front seats of a car. I sat down on the cushions gingerly, pulling my skirt farther around my crossed knees.

"So? What'd you want to show me?" I asked, smiling up at him expectantly. He grinned and sat down next to me, stretching his arms out across the space of the lot.

"This!" he exclaimed, bringing his arms back into his sides and smiling at me. "What'd ya think? Pretty great, huh?"

Was this supposed to be some kind of joke? I furrowed my brow at him and made a face. "Pony, you can't be serious. THIS is what you wanted to show me? A run down, abandoned lot?" I shook my head and let out a laugh. "You've got to be joking."

Ponyboy's face grew dark, and his smile fell. "This is where me and Johnny used to come and talk. Whenever his folks would start to fight, we come out here and wait till they cooled off. Sometimes we'd just come out here for no reason at all." He shrugged his shoulders and glanced around the lot. "I guess I just thought we could come here where no one'd bother us." He looked at me over his shoulder. "Where no one'd know where we are. I'm sorry if you don't like it, though."

Looking at him then, I started to wonder why he'd let me into such a special place. This was his and Johnny's place, the place not too far from where Bob had been killed. I pursed my lips and frowned, trying to come up with the right words to say.

"Look, Ponyboy, I'm sorry…I…I didn't know." I sighed and pushed the hair out of my face. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. This seems like a great hide out." I chewed on my lip, hoping he'd say something soon.

"It's alright," he said, smiling at me again and leaning back on the head rest of the seat. "I guess I shouldn't have expected a girl from the south side to like a beaten up old lot." He turned his head and winked at me, making me blush slightly.

"No, I guess not," I laughed, relaxing a bit. I reached into my purse and pulled out a pack of Double-Mint gum, taking a stick and offering him one. We chewed our gum in silence before Ponyboy stood up and motioned for me to do the same. "Where we going now?" I asked, brushing the dirt off of my skirt.

Ponyboy grinned at me. "Nowhere." And then he kissed me.

PONYBOY: I don't know what made me do it, but I couldn't seem to help myself. And once it happened, I half expected her to reel around and slap me across the face. So you can understand my surprise when she started to kiss me back. She had been stiff at first, but after awhile she began to ease into me, making me kiss her harder than before. I couldn't think of how many times I'd thought about doing this with a girl. But this wasn't just any girl. This was Cherry Valence, the girl I'd had a crush on for months and a senior no less. I tangled my fingers around her strands of red hair, pulling her closer and closer to me until there was no space left between us. I could feel her own hands in my hair, though I'm sure my greased, short hair-cut wasn't as nice as her long curls. She broke away from me after a while, a look of confusion and surprise across her face.

"P-Ponyboy, why'd you do that?" she asked, her eyes searching mine intently. "I thought—"

I didn't let her finish before my lips were back on hers again, and again, she didn't resist me. I slipped my tongue against hers, making her quiver.

"Pony, we need to stop," she whispered against my mouth, her hands pressed up against my chest. She looked up at me hard. "Before we do something we'll regret, that is."

I nodded, my hand cupped around her cheek. "Okay…maybe we should get goin'. Derry's probably worried about me."

Cherry closed her eyes and rested her head against my chest. Even though she was older than me by a good two years, I was at least four inches taller than she was. She curled her fingers into the fabric of my shirt and sighed. "I guess you're right."

We peeled away from each other slowly, taking small steps backwards while still trying to hold onto the other. We eventually broke free and began to walk back to Cherry's car in silence. I came up behind her and curled my pinkie finger around hers, making her smile and curl her own tighter around mine. There were some things I would never understand. Like why I'd been able to be with someone like Cherry Valence. It was all beyond me.


	3. Anywhere

Anywhere:

CHERRY: For the way it happened, I wouldn't have thought that that kiss between Ponyboy would have left me so uneasy. Nothing had really changed between us; we were still close, and for a few days, the kiss never came up in any of our conversations. But still…I'm sure we both thought about it constantly…at least I know I did. Sometimes if I thought about it long enough, I'd find myself…touching myself…in places I shouldn't. I could feel him on me sometimes…kissing me, holding me…sometimes I could imagine him doing more. I'd been with a guy before; Bob had been my first. He'd sort of rushed me into after the first couple of months after we'd started dating, but I'd been just as willing as he was. It was nice, I suppose. Bob was pretty rough with me at times, but it wasn't anything too terrible. All in all, he'd actually been very sweet about the whole situation. He'd set out a big blanket by the old oak tree and snatched a bottle of wine from his parent's liquor cabinet for us. Once we were done, he'd just held me there…letting us both soak up the moment. The only thing that wasn't right about the whole thing was I didn't love him. I'd thought that making love to him that night would have made me realize how much I cared for him, that I'd come to love him as much as he loved me. But in the end his drinking was too much for me, and I'd decided to end it between us. That was the night I'd decided to go to the movies with Marcia, where I'd met Ponyboy and his friends. The night Bob's drunken haze made him imagine things that weren't true and made him go after Pony and Johnny…and it had cost him his life.

I shivered at the memory of the police coming down the street of our neighborhood, something that was almost never seen. I had had a feeling it had something to do with Bob and his friends, but I could have never have imagined what really went down that night. Bob's parents had been devastated, obviously, but I think his mother took it the hardest. She didn't even want to know who killed her son, but rather, she simply asked her husband to pack up their things and let them move as far away from Tulsa as possible. That was the last any of us saw of them.

But Ponyboy…he wasn't anything like Bob was. He could never be. He'd grown up differently…seen things that none of us had. Part of me was glad I never would have to know what he went through, but the other wanted more than anything to know more about his world. I wondered what Pony saw when he looked at me. I knew little rich girl was written all over my forehead, but Pony didn't see people that way. He saw people for who they were, not what they were. The thing was, I didn't know who I was in the first place. I'd always been told what to be, what to do. My mother had been a cheerleader in high school, so naturally I went into it as well. When the question of college came up, it was never actually asked directly towards me but to my parents, seeing as they were always the ones to answer. Personally, I'd never really thought too much about what I wanted to be or where I wanted to go to learn about being it. Yet somehow my parents had made it up in their minds that I was to attend Brown University and become and English major. Then I would go on to marry a successful doctor or lawyer and move to some upstate city and have numerous children while being the perfect housewife. All while my two proud parents can retire in peace knowing their daughter is well provided for. The whole idea made me sick to my stomach. Who were they to try and plan everything for me? I knew they only wanted me to have a good future, but really?

I'd been lying in bed with my thoughts for a while when I turned over to reach for my personal phone and proceeded to dial in the Curtis house number. Darry (or I guess it was Darry) answered on the third ring, his deep voice echoing through the receiver. I cleared my throat timidly before asking to talk to Ponyboy. Darry didn't ask who I was or what it was I wanted, only grunted a response and handed the phone off to someone else.

"Hello?" It was Pony this time. I smiled to myself at the sound of his voice.

"Hey, Ponyboy," I said, twirling the cord of the phone around my fingers. "It's me, Cherry."

I could hear him let out a chuckle on the other line. "Oh hey, Cherry. What's up?"

I leaned back against the headboard of my bed and sighed. "Nothing much, just wondering what you were up to. I didn't call you too late, did I?" I glanced at the clock sitting across from me on my dresser. It was only 8:30, but who knew with Pony?

"Nah, you're fine. I don't go to bed until I get sleepy. So what've you been doing lately? I haven't talked to you in a while. You still want to meet up this weekend?"

I shifted slightly on the bed, crossing my legs underneath myself. "Yeah, that's fine. Umm…look, Ponyboy, I kinda wanted to talk to you about…well, about that kiss." I held my breath for a few seconds as I heard him go still, the quiet vibration of breath on the other line my only assurance that he was still there. It was a few moments before he spoke up.

"Yeah, what about it?" he asked, trying to seem nonchalant.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Well…I've been thinking about it. A lot, actually." I laid my head back on one of my pillows. "Ponyboy…?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you…I mean, do you ever…think…about me? That way, I mean." I tried to think of a better way to say things. "I mean…do you ever think about me as more than just a friend?"

There was yet another long pause as he soaked in my words. His voice was husky and deep when he answered me. "Of course I do. Why you think I kissed you in the first place, Cherry?"

I felt my heart leap up into my throat, and I did my best to push it back down. "Oh. Oh, okay. Umm…well…"

"Hey, Cherry?" he said, releasing me from my ramble.

"Yes?" I squeaked, my hand curled tightly around the head of the phone.

"You think we could meet up at the lot again tomorrow?" he said, making me blush with excitement. "We could talk more there. I've kind of got an audience here, if you know what I mean? It'll be a lot easier then."

"S-sure. Sure, that sounds great. I'll come by to pick you up around noon?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. Okay, I'll see you later. Night," he said, the rustling on the other end letting me know he was about to hang up.

"Good night," I breathed, staying on long after the click and hum of the other line had signaled his departure. I let the receiver slide from my cheek as I put it back in the cradle and I curled up underneath the covers. Tomorrow…we'd be together tomorrow…I could only hope I'd be able to wait till then.

PONYBOY: I hung up the phone and sighed, surprised that she had called me in the first place. Weren't guys supposed to call girls, not the other way around? I guess it didn't matter really, but still…

I ran my hands through my slick hair and went back to mine and Soda's room, pulling off my clothes and falling into bed. I made myself comfortable and gazed out the window above the bed, the moon just barely visible through the blinds. There were a lot of things that I'd tried to compare to the brilliance of the moon, but none of them really seemed to match up. Cherry, though…she was the one thing that I thought more beautiful. She was everything to me, even though I'd never let her know that. Not now, anyway.

Soda came in a few minutes later, sighing and sitting down on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes and pants. "I tell you what, Ponyboy, you're lucky you don't have to work yet. Better enjoy it while it lasts." He stretched his arms out over his head and yawned, lying down in the bed next to me. He smacked me on the arm, breaking me from my trance. "You in there, Pony? What you been thinking?"

I shrugged, rolling over on my side to look at him better. "Nothin', just thinking. You know what I mean? When you're not really thinking about anything in particular, just letting things kind of flow through your head. That's what I've been doing lately."

Soda chuckled and rolled over on his side away from me. "Yeah, I do. Do it all the time, little brother." He glanced over his shoulder at me. "You wouldn't happen to be lettin' your head start thinkin' bout Cherry Valence, would you?"

I sighed and curled myself up into a ball, closing my eyes. "No. No, I wouldn't let myself think about things I can't have. Not like her, anyway."

T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T.T

CHERRY: School couldn't have drug on any slower. I'd tried to pay attention in Pre-Calculus and Government, but the rest of the day seemed to be a blur. I vaguely remember saying hi to Marcia and Randy in the hall way, and Patty asking me if she could borrow my tan sweater for her date with Jeremy, but nothing else really seemed to matter. I couldn't stop thinking about Pony…and that kiss. God damn it to hell that kiss! It was driving me crazy. If I couldn't kiss him again soon, I'd go into a fit. I'd never been so anxious over anything in my life, not even the time I slept with Bob. And all I was doing was meeting him at our trashy lot. Besides, we'd never promised anything more…just talking. That WAS what this was about, wasn't it? Just talking? I felt my hands shake as I opened the school double-doors to leave that afternoon, my body suddenly feeling puny and weak from simply pulling them. Something told me that my subconscious knew Ponyboy and I had more on our mind than "just talking," and if that was true, then I really did have something to be nervous about.

PONYBOY: I was leaving class when I saw her rushing down the hallway, her hair like a flash of fire across my face. I frowned and followed her out the school doors, but I didn't call out her name. She made her way through the strings of teenagers crowding around the steps, keeping her face to the ground and clutching her books tightly to her chest. I pushed my hands into the pockets of my jacket and trailed on after her, keeping my distance at the same time. I don't think she knew I was behind her, but if she did she didn't let on. She pulled her keys out of her purse and unlocked her car, slipping inside and starting the engine, pulling out of the parking lot with a screech. I was close enough behind to catch a glimpse of her eyes in the rearview mirror as she sped away, my stomach sinking. I sighed and turned on my heels back towards the school. Two-Bit would pick me up, but once we got home, I'd meet up with her again.

CHERRY: I'd seen him when I'd left the school, that solemn figure standing alone in the crowd. He'd been close enough that I could see his eyes…those clear gray, storm clouds covered by dark brows. I'd almost lost control of the wheel when I'd seen him watching me like that, and I could only think that the sooner I got to our lot the better. I drove down the road in silence, not even bothering to turn on the radio. My mind was a jumble of thoughts and emotions, and I could feel my heart pumping blood through every vein in my body. I gripped the steering wheel anxiously, trying to smooth out my nerves. It was just Ponyboy. He was my friend, nothing more. We enjoyed talking to each other, having fun with one another. There was nothing wrong with that, so I had no reason to be nervous. I wouldn't have any reason to be nervous if that really were the case, I told myself bitterly.

It was around four when I pulled into the familiar lot, almost welcoming it's loneliness. Ponyboy wasn't anywhere in sight, though. I slammed the car door shut as I furrowed my brow and shoved my hands into my coat pockets, searching the lot for him. He should have been here by now, I thought gloomily, shivering as the wind picked up.

"Hey."

I spun around to meet Pony's eyes, his face only inches away from mine. "Oh, Ponyboy, it's you! You startled me." I smiled brightly at him, my body starting to shake all over again. "So, what'd you want to talk about? I've been wondering all day."

He grinned at me before reaching out a hand and pushing the wind-blown hair out of my eyes, making me hold my breath in surprise. He tucked the stray hair behind my ears and stepped in closer to me, the light of the setting sun highlighting the gold of his hair. The corners of his mouth pulled together in a smile, making me smile back at him. "Just that I don't want to ever leave you…I don't want to ever have to not see you, Cherry. And 'specially not because of some stupid reason, like I'm a greaser or you're a soc. That kind of stuff doesn't make sense." His eyes grew murky as his emotions shifted. "Johnny and Dally didn't die because they were greasers…and Bob didn't get killed cause he was a soc…they all died the way they did because of the choice they made." He glanced away from me for a moment, and I thought I saw a trickle of a tear fall from one of his eyes. He blinked it away and brought his gaze back to mine, his eyes softening. "If we have to learn anything from their deaths, it should be that life's too short to worry about whether or not you've got nice things or you live in a rundown neighborhood." He cupped his hand around my face, his thumb running along the line of my jaw. "I don't want to waste whatever time I have wishing I could have something I can't. Cherry, you're all I want…god, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's the truth. And if I can't have you, I don't want anyone else."

I gazed up at him for a moment, swallowing and trying to think of something, anything, to say to him. I let out a shaky breath before closing the small distance between us with my lips, pressing myself against him.

PONYBOY: There was a flood of relief when she kissed me, one that made me weak and strong at the same time. I held her to me and cradled her head in my hand, my fingers tangling in her hair. I could feel her hands on my chest, moving up my arms and around my shoulders, her breath sweet against my skin. She smelt like nothing I'd ever smelled before…a mixture of some kind of flower and powder. I never wanted to lose that smell. Cherry broke away from me for a moment to look up at me timidly.

"P-Ponyboy…"she breathed her mouth less than an inch away from my chin. "Do…do you w-w-want to…" She nuzzled the small notch in between my neck and my collar bone, raising goose-bumps over my skin.

"Yes," I whispered, my hands resting on the frame of her hips. I looked down at her and nodded my head. "Yes…if…if that's what you want—"

"It is," she said, cutting me off in a hurry. I gave her a small smile as her brown eyes danced over my face. "I've wanted to ever since you kissed me that first time." She grinned, her teeth flashing in the setting sunlight. "God, that sounds cheesy," she teased, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Oh, no worries," I said, pulling her back to me and kissing her full on the mouth once more. "I'm used to things like that." At her welcoming smile, I took her hand and led her into her car.


	4. Together

Together:

CHERRY: I'd thought we'd have just slid into the backseat and done it like all the normal teenagers, but Ponyboy wasn't into that surprisingly. He didn't want our first time together be like that. When he'd told me that, I'd sheepishly told him I wasn't a virgin, but he blankly looked at me and told me he wasn't either. He then explained that he meant our first time as a couple. A couple? Could we really be called that? Especially when we were hiding it from everyone we knew? Either way, Ponyboy was mine and I was his. I guess that another one of those cliché sayings, but it suited us. And wouldn't you know where we decided to go all the way at? My house, of course. My parents both didn't get home until around eight and it was still early, so naturally, I brought up the prospect of us going there instead. Pony had been hesitant at first, and I could understand why: it was one thing to get caught in the act and other to get caught with a greaser. As awful as it sounds, I had no doubt in my mind that if one of my parents ever should find me in bed with a Soc boy, they'd never punish me as much as they would if they found me with Ponyboy. His hands were at my back as I unlocked the front door, leading us inside the darkness. I went to flip on the lights, but Pony's hand caught mine in mid-reach.

"I don't mind the dark," he whispered, squeezing my hand and making me blush. I nodded and closed the door behind us, moonlight our only guide inside. Luckily I knew my way pretty well around the house and was able to lead us up the stairs without killing myself. I held onto Ponyboy's hand the way down the hall, hoping he didn't notice my racing pulse spreading over my fingertips. I reached my bedroom door and pried it open carefully, even though there wasn't anyone we had to sneak around for once. I took a deep breath and once again shut a door behind us, securing us in our small sanctuary. I turned back to Ponyboy and caught my breath; all this time I'd been imagining making love to him, and here I was about to do it. He might have been younger than me, but seeing him that night, I felt like a silly little girl all over again.

"Ponyboy," I whispered into the darkness, holding out a hand to him. I watched him walk towards me against the moonlight, his hand closing around mine and pulling me close to him. My lips hovered only inches away from his, both of us breathing into the other's mouth before Ponyboy pressed his over mine. My hands instinctively went up to the back of his neck, cradling his kiss in my grasp. His fingers buried themselves in my hair and tugged hard on it as he kissed me deeper, our tongues meeting and breaking apart. Pony's hands moved down past my neck and across my back to the zipper of my dress, and I held still enough for him to pull it free. I stepped out of the dress and faced him in my underwear, suddenly blushing at the pure thought of it. He grinned encouragingly at me before bringing me back to him and kissing me softly, my fingers inching their way up his shirt. I tugged hungrily at it, making him raise his arms so I could pull it off of him. Pony reached around me and unsnapped my bra, peeling it away from my chest and covering my breasts with his hands. I let out a shaky breath as those hands traveled downward, across the plane of my abdomen and past my navel to the fold of my underwear. He hesitated for a moment, but I only nodded my head slightly and he too peeled that away from my body. And there I was, standing completely naked in front of him…and yet…it felt right, like I shouldn't be ashamed of it. I met his gaze and stepped in closer to him, kissing the line of his jaw and bringing my lips across his chin and up to his mouth as I undid the snap of his jeans, pulling away his last layers of clothing. We gazed at each other for a moment before Ponyboy pulled me to him and kissed me feverently. I fell back against him onto my bed, my hair covering our faces in a cascade of red. Ponyboy turned both of us over in one fluid motion, hovering above me as we kissed. I was panting and gasping for breath already, and we hadn't even really done anything yet.

"Cherry," Ponyboy whispered against my neck, "you're not gonna just pick up and leave me after this are you?"

I furrowed my brow and shook my head, hugging him close. "No. No, Ponyboy, I promise you, I'm not going to leave you. And you're not gonna leave me, are you?"

He chuckled, his lips brushing across my shoulder. "No. No, Cherry, I promise. I won't leave you neither."

I brought his face up to where I could see it and cupped my hand around it, smiling at him. "I…I lo—"

Pony covered my mouth with the palm of his hand. "No, don't say it." He trailed his fingers down my chin and neck, sending shivers down my spine as he gazed hard into my eyes. "Not yet, anyway, okay?"

I grinned sheepishly at him. "I thought the girl was supposed to be the sentimental one in the relationship, Pony. You're too deep for your own good."

He laughed and shook his head, strands of bleached hair falling from their carefully greased place. "Nah, I just tell it like it is, that's all."

I ran my hands down his back and up again to his face, bringing him down for a kiss, shifting myself into the curve of his side. There was a short moment where we held each others' gaze before Pony slipped himself inside me, making me tremble and gasp. He's inside me, I kept thinking, he's inside me, he's inside me…

It didn't take long for nature to take its course and make our bodies perform the way they were meant to in this kind of situation. I held on tight to him as we rocked back and forth, making me ironically think of rock and roll music. The Negroes had always meant it as a slang term for sex, and now I truly knew what they meant. I bit hard on my lip as the throbbing in my groin grew stronger and stronger until it flooded my entire body, making me cry out in a mixture of pleasure and agony. Ponyboy must have felt it too because he pressed his face into the swoop of my neck and let out a low moan. We were both shaking, and somehow we'd gotten covered in sweat. I breathed in deeply through my nose and closed my eyes, holding Ponyboy against me. If only he didn't ever have to leave me.

PONYBOY: Well…I'll say one thing: I've never had sex like that before. And with Cherry…God, it was incredible. We had about an hour left to ourselves, so I stay a bit longer than planned and simply laid in the bed with her, holding her in my arms. Cherry's window was in just the right position to show the moon hovering up above the sky, giving us the only light we had. I ran my fingers though Cherry's hair, breathing in her smell and trying to memorize every curve of her body against mine. Her skin was smoother than anything I'd ever touched before, and as pale as the moon itself. Cherry curled herself against my chest and sighed, her breath tickling my skin. I closed my eyes and felt myself drift into sleep. I knew I should stay away, but I was too comfortable with her and too relaxed to think of any the danger I'd put myself in. And it wasn't long before I was fast asleep.


	5. After Glow

After Glow:

CHERRY: The rustling of sheets woke me from my haze of dreams, and I peeled my eyes open to see the blurred image of someone rising out of the bed next to me. My memory caught up with the present, and realizing it was Ponyboy, I reached out to him, catching his wrist in my hand. Pony hesitated for a moment before sighing and gently removing my fingers from around his wrist, avoiding my gaze. I pulled my hand back in to my naked body, my skin prickling in the cold that escaped through the window.

"Ponyboy," I whispered to him, watching him pull on his clothes that had been discarded across the room only hours earlier. "Pony, remember what you promised me," I pleaded, hoping he'd turn around to look at me. When he didn't acknowledge me, I sat up in the bed and wrapped the sheets around my chest. "PONYBOY!" I screamed, my pulse rising as he simply paused in pulling down his shirt before bringing it all the way down his torso.

"What?" he breathed, picking up his shoes and slipping them on. "What do you want me to say? That I love you and we should do this again sometime? Look, Cherry, we both know I can't stay here any longer, if I do, you're old man's gonna personally cut my dick off. So whatever it is you want it's just gonna have to wait cause I gotta go."

I curled my fingers into the folds of the sheets as I watched him finish lacing up his tennis shoes and slip into the sleeves of his jacket, hating myself every moment I thought he'd turn around and laugh and say he was only joking. I wanted him to…God, I wanted him to…but he only glanced at me before leaving the room and closing the bedroom door behind him quietly. I sat there, naked and alone, for the longest time. Long after I knew he'd left the house and was well down the street. Long after I heard my parents' car pull into the drive-way and the call of my name from their voice. And then I collapsed.

PONYBOY: It was only until a few minutes after I had fallen asleep that I realized what I had done. I had slept with someone I would never be able to see again, someone I loved more than myself, and if I wanted to live, I'd have to break both her heart and mine. I knew that sooner or later, someone would find out about us, and then some Soc would get it in his head to teach me and the rest of us greasers a lesson about fucking Soc girls. I didn't want any more fighting. I was sick of it. I'd gotten tougher after Johnny and Dal had died, started carrying a blade on me, and I'd used it more than once on anyone who messed with me. But I still didn't want to kill anyone, not like Johnny and Dally had. And if anyone found out about me and Cherry, I'd have to kill, I'd kill freely. And who knew what they would do to her? What would become of her if we were discovered? I'd always told her I didn't care, that I wanted to be with her no matter what. Now, I regretted ever telling her such things. Her love was something I was never supposed to know, never supposed to taste. I'd crossed the line, and I could never go back to where I was before. If I was supposed to save us, I had to make her hate me. I had to kill her inside to let her live. And I had to cut out my own heart to save myself from feeling anything for her again. I was walking away from her and our pretend world, and I wasn't planning on coming back.

CHERRY: I saw him last night. By the drive-in. He was there…watching me, hoping I didn't notice him. Oh, I noticed him, alright. I noticed him so much I wanted to reach over and tear his head off, but I only ignored him. I only snapped my gum and leaned up against the hood of Randy's car, laughing my famous laugh and flipping my hair just so, letting Pony see that I had no use for him anymore. I caught his eye just before he left with Two-Bit and the others, and even though I'd forced myself to hate him for months, my body trembled under his gaze. His hair had already grown long and curled around his ears, the dye almost gone from it. He wore a tight black shirt that showed off the hard muscles he'd earned from puberty and endless fighting, and I suddenly wanted to reach out and feel the planes of his abdomen like I had only months before. He was growing up. Soon he'd be getting all sorts of girls pawing after him, and he'd break all their hearts, just like he had mine. Remembering why we weren't together in the first place, I forced myself to turn my gaze away, but not before he gave me a weak grin, his grey eyes teasing me unknowingly. I let out a shaky gasp, tears welling up in my eyes unexpectedly, and I covered my face with my hands. I let out a harsh sob, making Randy and the others jump to my side in concern. But I didn't pay any attention to them. God, after all this time, I still was in love with him. And all he could do was smile at me. That bastard! Didn't he know how much he'd hurt me when he'd just walked out on me? I had called his house over and over again before Soda told me it was better if I just didn't call anymore. Pony wasn't interested anymore, and he just wanted me to leave him alone. That was what cut me deepest. So he'd only used me? But Pony wasn't like that, was he? He couldn't be. There had to be something beneath the surface, something he was trying to hide. I had tried talking to him at school, but he only ignored me, brushing me aside whenever I reached out to him. I couldn't believe that the boy who had held me so tenderly in his arms only a few days before could be so cold and heartless to me now. No matter how much I tried not to, I kept remembering the way he'd kissed me, his breath still on my skin, how it felt when he made love to me. I could still feel him inside me, beating, and breathing. I couldn't forget him, and even now, four months later, I still could hear him moaning in my ear as he came inside me, could still feel his hands on my skin. He had all of me, and I could never get it back. Not now anyway. He had my heart locked inside his cage, and he was there, dangling the keys in front of my face, taunting me with his grey eyes and inviting smile. He tells me I can take it back whenever I want, but we both know that will never happen. He'll always own my love, and it pleases him in so many sick ways to know I'll never love anyone but him. God, I want to kill him. But if I did, I'd only be killing myself. I can't live without him, and yet I'm forced to against my will. I want to shout out and throw my purse against his thick head and demand to know why he won't talk to me, why he won't see me. It's like he chooses not to remember how much he loved me, if he ever did at all. I want him to know how horrible it feels, I want him to feel just as bad as I do, but how can I when he just doesn't care anymore? Randy asks me if I'm okay and I only look up at him and give him one of the many smiles I've faked in the past.

"No," I say, and I say it to my heart as well. No. No. No. NO. YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM! He left you, remember? He doesn't want you anymore. You're nothing to him. No. You can't have him.

And then I go back to life the way it was before I loved Ponyboy Curtis…and I try to erase my heart's memory one more time tonight…before it grows back only to fester and die.

PONYBOY: Why did I smile at her? God dammit, WHY? She had only looked away from me, but I could tell that I'd only opened up another wound. Well…maybe it was for the best? God dammit, Pony, what the fuck are you saying? You didn't want this…did you? Yes, I did. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to push her away…God, how can I think that? I never wanted this. I never wanted to leave her; I never wanted to hurt her. I didn't mean to do this…not this…

I watched her ride away with Randy and her friends, and I followed after Two-Bit and his girl, Nikki, glancing away when he kissed her fondly on the mouth. I'd kissed Cherry that way once…a time that felt like ages now. I'd held her in my arms and smelt her skin, tasted her mouth against mine. I was dying inside. Everyone could see it, Two-Bit the most. He told me he knew that look. That look when you know you've just kissed good-bye the best damn thing that ever happened to you. He'd almost lost Nikki once, and he told me he'd kept that look on his face for a long ass time before he went back to her and admitted he'd been an ass. That was another thing that had surprised me about old Two-Bit: he'd hooked himself a Soc girl. Well, a former Soc, anyway. Nikki had come from the same neighborhood as Cherry, her and her friend Arisa, and there isn't a day that her once "friends" spit at her and shout out "Greaser whore!" whenever they see her. But she doesn't care. She loves that good for nothing bastard more than anything. She even left her fancy upper-class house to move in with him and his mom, getting a waitressing job to help pay bills. They were getting married in a few months, and I was surprised that it had nothing to do with Nikki being pregnant. Watching them now, I started to wonder if what I had done to Cherry had been the right thing. It was all too obvious that we were both hurting…and it was all because of me. But for once, I didn't care about myself anymore. I just wanted Cherry to be alright. Hurting her wasn't doing anything but driving me crazy with longing, and I needed to make things right. I just hoped it wasn't too late to admit I'd been an ass.


	6. All Yours

All Yours:

CHERRY: "Sherri, what's the matter?" my mother asked, her shadow blocking out the light spreading out from underneath my closed door. "You know you can tell me if something's bothering you. You haven't been yourself for a while now. I'm starting to worry about you."

Really, Mom? Four months go by and it takes you that long to start to worry about me? You really are a wonderful parent, really. I sighed and wiped my hand across my nose, sniffing back tears and praying to God that she'd leave me alone.

"Sherri, I'm really getting tired of your attitude. We have a trip planned out next week to visit Brown and if you don't get over yourself, young lady, you can kiss that college money good-bye."

"Then why don't you go there? Seeing as you're the one always talking about that Goddamn place, you might as well!" I shouted out at her, turning over on my side and burying my face in my pillow.

"That is it! I have had it! I'm taking your car away for the rest of this month! And no more going out! You're grounded for the next two weeks!"

"Fine, not like any of that matters, anyway," I muttered, bringing my knees up to my chest and shivering despite the warmth of my bed. I could still smell Ponyboy in the sheets, could still feel the warmth he had left behind there. Had it really been four months? It didn't feel like it, but it also felt like an eternity. An eternity since I had heard him laugh and been to the lot where we'd talk for hours about nothing at all. I missed being able to tell him things that I couldn't tell Marcia or Randy or anyone else. He had been the only one to know all my secrets, everything I kept hidden underneath the surface. If anything, I missed knowing that he cared, and that he'd be there to love me and understand why I felt the way I did. He could do some serious blackmail on me, but I don't think he'd do something like that. He may have killed every part of me, but he wouldn't do that.

I rolled over onto my back before I sat up and sighed, glancing over at my phone, wishing somehow it would ring, I'd answer, and Ponyboy would be on the other end asking me to come to our lot to watch the stars or some other dumb things like that. He had always been deep like that, watching sunsets and reciting poetry. If I didn't know him better I'd guess he was gay. I smiled at that a bit despite myself, and I quickly frowned remembering how he'd left me so easily that night. He'd literally walked out on me, not caring what happened to me afterwards or if I'd even miss him. I felt my face quiver as tears began to well in my eyes, making my throat swell and choke me. God, why did I have to cry so damn much? It was driving me crazy that I couldn't stop myself. In class the other day, Mr. Hanson had asked me which wife Henry VIII had had beheaded first and I had broken down into tears for no reason. He was controlling me and he had no idea of it. Everything inside me kept telling me to hate him, to stop feeling anything for him, but I couldn't stop hoping he'd come back and be the same loving Pony that I had known before. It was all too much to ask for it seemed. And now that—

I was startled by the ringing of my phone, and I quickly composed myself and picked up the receiver, forcing myself to answer a quiet "hello."

"Cherry?"

It was faint, almost distant, and I wondered for a moment if I was dreaming. I let out a hallow breath before whispering, "P-P-Po-oo-nyboy?"

There was slight chuckle and rustling of breath against the receiver before he spoke again. "Yeah…yeah, it's me. Cherry…I, uh..."

"Yes?" I breathed, my heart hanging on every word he had just spoken.

"Um…I, uh, wanted to know if…ah…well, ya know, if you…" He was silent for the longest time, and I gripped the phone, hoping he was still there. Finally he said, "I wanted to know if you were still mad at me. For what I did to you, that is."

I felt my heart jump up into my throat and then plummet into the pit of my stomach. What did he just say? Was I still mad at him? Was I still MAD at him? God fucking dammit! Hell YES, I was still FUCKING MAD AT HIM! Why the hell wouldn't I be?

"Um…Cherry? Are you still there? Look, I know what I did was wrong and all, and I shouldn't have done it, but you gotta understand, I was just—"

"I 'just gotta understand'?" I hissed, staring down at the phone as I spoke. "Just gotta understand? I understand plenty! Look here, you! You manage to ruin the past four months of my life by not saying a single word to me or even looking at me, and all you have to say for yourself is that I just gotta understand!"

"Cherry, would you just listen for a second?" he argued, his voice raising a bit on the line. "I did it for your own good. You know no one 'round here wants to see a Soc and a Grease together. Hell, just look at Two-Bit and Nikki! Or Dally and Arisa! He gets shot, and she falls off the face of the Earth! It could happen to us, Cherry! Do you want that to happen? Do you want to end up like Nikki, working a dead-end job for money that doesn't cover half the bills and then have people who used to go to the movies with you throw beer cans at you for being with a Greaser? You deserve so much better than me, Cherry. Goddamn, you live in a fancy house and drive a Stingray. You've got the world at your feet and you're wasting it with me! I'm not worth it, Cherry. I'm a dumbass bum who's gonna end up working two jobs to try and support a family that's barely gettin' by and be wishing he could have gone to college and had real nice things and done a whole lot more with his life. And you…you, you're gonna be livin' half-way across the country in a nice house with a husband who can give you everything and kids that'll love you and never have to ask you why there isn't anything to eat for dinner that night. Kids who won't ever have to know what it's like to be beaten and looked down upon just cause they ain't got much. You don't want me, Cherry. I can't give you anything but a life wishing you'd chosen somethin' else. Cause if you stay with me that's all you'll be doin'. Wonderin' why you stuck around for this shit-hole. I won't let you give it all up for me."

I was breaking down in tears by then, and I couldn't stop myself. He was right. I had known Arisa and Nikki when they had lived down the street from me and Bob. Arisa had been beautiful, the embodiment of Bridgette Bardot, blonde hair and all. She had been the best dancer in Tulsa, and everyone knew she'd go on to be the greatest in the country, maybe even the world. Nikki was her best friend, and was one of those girls who you instantly wanted to be friends with. She just had that air about her. And for reasons we could never understand, they had left our perfect, sheltered neighborhood to live with the worst people imaginable. When I learned that Arisa had gotten with Dallas Winston, I had been appalled and hurt at the same time. I'd always had a bit of a crush on Dallas, one that not even Ponyboy knew about, and even more than that, I was surprised that he'd fallen so hard for her. I'd seen them every now and again at the Dairy Queen, his arm around her, his jacket oversized one her shoulders, and it made me sick inside. I watched them in disgust, and it wasn't until after I heard Dally had been shot and I cried for weeks that I knew it wasn't because he was a Greaser and she was a Soc. It was because I'd secretly hoped that if they could be together, then maybe I might be able to find a way to break free from the hold my parents had on me and live my own life for once. And Arisa- beautiful, talented Arisa- was never seen or heard from again. Dallas dying had been my dream of leaving dying with him. But then I found Ponyboy again, beaten and alone, crying out for help with no one to hear him…just like me. It had taken me a while to realize that I had loved him ever since I had met him that night at the drive-in, when he'd showed me that there's more to a person that what they wear or how they get by. I'd always been in love with the idea of rebellion, and I caught a glimmer of it in Dallas Winston, but with Ponyboy…it was all him. It had always been, and always would be, him and no one else.

I gripped the handle of the phone before sobbing into his ear. "Don't you see that I don't care about any of that? I don't care if I have to give up everything I have here because it's NOTHING! I'd rather spend my life with you than having to cut out my heart every night only to find its grown back in the morning. I don't want to live without you, and I don't want to raise our baby without you either!"

I could feel his breath shake on the other line, and I tasted the tears leaking into my mouth as I waited for his response. Say something, dammit! Say something! Anything! I don't give a good God damn, just say something! Please!

"Pony?" I said, holding my breath and then letting it out in a gasp. "Did you hear what I said?"

There was another long pause before I heard him speak. "Yeah…yeah, I heard what you said. And you're not gonna be alone, Cher. I'll be with you. I'll always be with you. It took me a while to realize what a complete asshole I've been, but now…now, I guess none of that really matters. Cause no matter what anyone says, that baby's gonna love both of us, Greaser and Soc. I'm not much of a man, Cherry, but I do know when I've been wrong. I'm sorry. I really am. I want you. All of you. I'm not going anywhere…I promise you that."

I pursed my lips together, tears spilling from my eyes. "Yeah, I know all about your promises, Ponyboy Curtis," I teased, wishing I could kiss him right then through the telephone.

He let out a low laugh. "Huh, yeah, sorry about that. But I'm serious. I swear on my life, I'm not leaving you."

I grinned through the tears spilling over my cheeks and kissed the mouth of the phone. "You always were too deep for your own good, Ponyboy."

PONYBOY: I hung up the phone quietly that night, my head trying to make sense of everything that had passed in those few moments. Cherry; a baby; together; was it all possible? I guess so. I sat down on the couch next to Two-Bit and Nikki, who were curled up, Nikki asleep and Two-Bit sipping on a beer watching Mickey Mouse. I ran my hands through my hair and sighed, closing one eye and staring at Two-Bit with the other. He raised a brow at me and I only smiled.

"I've only got one thing to say to you: Shut it," I said, leaning back against the couch and closing my eyes. "And, Two-Bit? Thanks. I guess you're not as useless as I thought." I grinned and peeked at him with one eye, just before he punched me in the arm.

"You're lucky she's asleep, you little grease-ball," he said, taking a swig of his beer. "So what happened with you and Cherry? Something good, I gather."

I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms before turning my head to him and saying, "Let's just say I'm gonna be looking for a job pretty soon."

CHERRY: We're together again…and it doesn't seem real. I curl myself up in a ball and wrap my arms around myself, hugging the life growing inside of me…the other part of Pony living inside of me. I was all his and he was all mine. And we'd be together to face whatever came our way…always.

_Other lives always tempted to trade  
Will they hate me for all the choices I've made  
Will they stop when they see me again?  
I can't stop now I know who I am_

Now I'm all yours, I'm not afraid  
And you're all mine, say what they may  
And all your love I'll take to the grave  
And all my life starts now

Tear me down they can't take you out of my thoughts  
Under every scar there's a battle I've lost  
Will they stop when they see us again?  
I can't stop now I know who I am

Now I'm all yours, I'm not afraid  
And you're all mine, say what they may  
And all your love I'll take to the grave  
And all my life starts

I'm all yours, I'm not afraid  
And you're all mine, say what they may  
And all your love I'll take to a grave  
And all my life starts starts now


End file.
